So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
