Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
