I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
