The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
