It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
you had me at cake vodka
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
