All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
