Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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