tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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