She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
