Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
