Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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