The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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