ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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