the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
