did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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