He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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