i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
