i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
