I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
