I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
