I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
This house was built for laser tag.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
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