is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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