Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Sponge bath it is.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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