haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
