why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
