Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
COCAINE IS GR8
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