as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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