i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
So much Jack, so little girl.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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