I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
