she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
