Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
