You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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