i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize