so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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