You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
