I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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