I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
