Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
