It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
