thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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