Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
