That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
