just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
