I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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