My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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