Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
