i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
