I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
