The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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