Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
