I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
