Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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