after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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