my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
