Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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