Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
