Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
