U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I love having hate sex.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
