I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize