i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize