i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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