i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
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