And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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