I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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