Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize