He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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