i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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