Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize