OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
