Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
