So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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